I have a friend. She recently sent me a picture of her and her toddler sitting on an elephant in a popular tourist destination. Now, I shy away from telling people what I think about animal exploitation, especially in the tourism industry, because I think people these days know it is wrong but do it anyway. Money, pleasure, selfishness, whatever the reason may be, I say nothing because people are okay with being wrong, but not okay with being judged wrong.
This friend was close enough that I felt it was okay to tell her about the extraordinarily rich, matriarchal, close-knit society that elephants belong to and what a tragedy it is to separate a child from its herd, break its spirit and put it to work. She agreed with me that it felt wrong, but her almost two year old insisted and she went along. She assured me she would explain it to her child later.
Now, I admit I have no enthusiasm for her response. When in life again are you going to be standing in front of an elephant with your child, that you can impart a great moral wisdom that will shape the child's character? Your teachable moment came and went.
This same friend drives her car with her bouncing toddler on her lap. I told her how dangerous that is, and she told me her uncle told her too how it was actually illegal in many countries. She continues the same practice, because her son would throw a tantrum if she doesn't allow him on her lap. If she had just put him in the passenger seat the very first time he got in the car, buckled him in safely and explained that it was impossible to drive with him on her lap, that child would have known that THAT is a rule.
I am disturbed and angered by many of the parents I see, not just now, but for many many years now. There seems to be a competition going on to see who is a better 'friend' to the child as soon as it leaves the womb. Everything else falls by the wayside, discipline being the first item in the trash heap.
I find I want to say something that people would find offensive, but I don't think it is. Your love for your child is special, but your child itself is not. Human beings have been birthed, have lived and have died for millennia. Your child is part of that process. We are animals who reproduce. We are not special. Your child is not special.
The fact that people think it is okay to do something wrong just so that their child feels pleasure is, to me, one of the most selfish, bestial attitudes parents can have. They are creating monsters, who will grow up to dominate, hurt and abuse people without thought.
I look at the eyes of my friend's child, and I see already, that this child is cruel. Sure, he will outgrow the biting and kicking, the tantrums, and all the rest, but he will grow up to be unkind. His needs will come first, always. I do not wish to know him now, or then.
If a juvenile elephant tries to bully another, the mother or grandmother or great grandmother will step in and stop that behavior immediately. What unbelievable arrogance it is that humans, most of whom can't even say no to their children, think they are superior enough to warrant climbing on to a majestic elephant's back and riding it. The shame.
Disclaimer: Yes, I'm not a parent. I don't know how difficult it is to raise a child. But I have been a child raised by parents, I have been a teacher, and I am a person with reasonable intelligence and common sense. So I consider my opinions on child-rearing valid.
