Thursday, November 11, 2021
Tuesday, November 2, 2021
Watch out!
I miss the good old days when all I did online was check my gmail account and occasionally post on Facebook. I felt smug that I was savvy enough, but then I went and changed it all. I started chatting on apps, subscribed to Youtube channels and joined Instagram. This past year, I've been at my peak. And I think it might be driving me insane. Let's go.
So, I saw this Youtube video. The guy in it said that we must always, ALWAYS bathe in cold water. He went on to list all the benefits; the heart, the blood, the blah, blah. These days it doesn't take much to convince me of anything. So I decided to go along. The first day, as that cold water hit me, I was transported to another time in my life.
It was the year 2000 and I was on a trek in the Himalayas. This was back when my hips, knees, ankles co-operated with each other. As thrilling as it was to walk along the edge of the cliffs, the only time I screamed like a little girl, was in the camp bathing stalls. It was like some sadist repeatedly plunged me into a hole in the ice on a frozen lake. Going oooooooooo and aaaaaaaaa over and over again, I sounded like an ambulance stuck in traffic. At one point, I remember scolding someone in the adjoining stall for bathing quietly. It just wasn't fair. "Have you no nerve endings, bitch?"
Anyway, coming back to social media, cold baths are just the tip of the iceberg. (hehe!) It's like I can't look away. I listen to everything. I watch it all. In short, I'm a sucker.
If there's a Youtube video with the caption, "Know this secret and you will ...." then I must know that bloody secret. Even if I scroll past it in a pathetic attempt to be cool, in a few seconds, I'll frantically dig at my mouse, go up and click on it. It's terrible.
Do you know that I slap my armpits 49 times each? Why do I do this? Because a Chinese acupuncturist lady on Insta said that it detoxifies the liver. Why do I want to detoxify my liver, you ask? Because a spiritual guru on Youtube said that the liver is the seat of anger and the Lord knows that I am an angry person. How do I know the Lord knows everything, hmm? Because that Islamic intellectual preacher on Facebook said that He does.
One day, one of you will visit me. And then you'll come back and put this post on Facebook- "I went to see Poorni today. She's comfortable, which is a blessing. The people in the psych ward take good care of her. Don't pity her for what she could have been, celebrate her for what she was."
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have seven hundred and twenty three saved videos I need to go watch. B'bye!
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