The Busy Lying Bee

The Busy Lying Bee

When people say they're 'busy', let's face it, it rarely is true. Unless you've gotten into a situation where you have to switch off or surrender your phone, being busy is just an excuse. Especially when people can see you being present on social media. It's hard to believe someone can't take the 10 seconds it takes to type out "Hey, hope you're doing good. Let's catch up later on."

Sure, just saying one is busy is an easy, diplomatic response. But when you have a close relationship with someone and you have an established pattern of communication, suddenly changing it and crying 'busy' is a slap to the face. It's an insult to the other person's intelligence. Here are some phrases I like to use, because they are true and I believe that level of honesty is more respectful to the other person:

I was feeling low/ I was low on energy.

I haven't been feeling sociable/ I was taking some 'me' time.

I wanted some mental quiet, so I tuned out for awhile.

I was going through a tough time and I just withdrew/couldn't bring myself to reach out.

I've been sorting through my priorities, so I took a break from communicating.

I've been juggling quite a few things, so I haven't been connecting with people.

My focus/attention has been on my family/work/health/x, so I took some time away from my regular routine.

I'm not great at networking. I make an effort, but sometimes I just slip back into old habits.

Keeping in touch is something that I struggle with from time to time.

From what I have experienced, there are a few reasons why people would rather tell me they're busy- I hold a position of very low value/worth to them, they were never really in the relationship to begin with, they think it's 'useful' to keep certain contacts around, a certain level of pettiness/ ego that keeps them from initiating communication.

After I've made the effort, and identified the pretense, I get busy - Snip, snip, bye bye!